David and I have just returned from doing a presentation to the Gravenhurst Probus Club in the historic Opera House.
After telling the story behind my memoir, Ready to Come About (Dundurn Press), I was asked, “How did you and David manage to get along with all the problems you experienced, and all the time alone in such a small space. If it were me, I likely would have divorced!”
Everyone laughed. But it was a legitimate question. The reality is, a long sailing voyage has an impact on relationships. Over the course of our year away, we, in fact, witnessed many such heartbreaking parting-of-ways. But, so too did we see couples who embraced the shared adventure. David and I were among the fortunate ones. As a result of spending 86 days alone, together, on the high seas, we grew closer.
Love Sail, an online dating and networking service for those passionate about sailing, invited me to write a blog post on the subject. I called it, “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” And my short answer was, “Everything!”
As well as a sailing memoir, Ready to Come About is a love story, my love story.
As an aside, forty-three years ago, David took me to see the play, West Side Story, performed in, guess where, the Gravenhurst Opera House! It was our first big date. Months later we were married!
I’m delighted to report that my memoir, Ready to Come About (Dundurn Press), has just been released as an audio book by Scribd. It is narrated by Dina Pearlman, an actor who, among other things, has been on Sex and the City, which naturally leads me to conclude Scribd took time to find just the right person!
If you are looking for an expertly narrated true story of adventure-slash-misadventure to listen to while you drive to the cottage, pull weeds in your yard, walk along a woodland trail, toss a fresh salad, or stare off into space on some beach, this is the audio book for you.
Note: You can find me right there below Stephen King!
Have you experienced a time in your life that has affected you in a profound way? Do you wish to share this with others? Then perhaps you have a memoir in you.
My writing career began in my fifties as a result of a life-altering experience from which I felt I had a story that needed telling. The result was my memoir, Ready to Come About, published by Dundurn Press in 2019.
I am excited to be discussing the crafting of memoir with Keriann McGoogan, author of Chasing Lemurs – My Journey into the Heart of Madagascar, as part of the Wellington County Writers’ Festival. This panel discussion will take place at the Marden Library, 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., Thursday May 12th.
I did not set out to write about food. Nevertheless, flipping through the pages of Ready to Come About, food, or sometimes the lack of it, was a significant backdrop to many scenes.
There were great concoctions we managed to pull together under sail, fantastic landfall meals in exotic places, and fabulous home cooked dinners around the kitchen tables in the homes of friends we met along the way. These were moments of celebration, of sharing, and of joy.
Then there were other food experiences; days of cold bean salads, simple meals to stretch out our limited reserves, meals in times of anxiety, distress, discord and sadness.
So it seems food and the human condition are inextricably linked.
When I came to, it was again night. Seeing David’s present sitting unopened where he had set it twelve hours before and him outside eating crackers from the box, I started to cry.
“Some Christmas,” I said to him through the companionway. “I had all the fixings for a special turkey dinner.”
“No worries, sweetie. Honestly, it’ll be great whenever.”
“And your present isn’t even —”
“No rush for that either. C’mon out here. You gotta see this night sky. I’ve never seen anything like it.” He slid over and I sat down. “Cracker?”
Excerpt from Ready to Come About
The rougher the passage, the more joyful the landfall. Our twelve day passage from the Azores to Portugal was particularly rough; sea sickness, storms, and fouling a rogue fishing net that disabled our engine and caused a continuous leak which we had to bail for nine days.
Once we cleared customs and Inia was safely secured in the beautiful city of Lagos, we headed into town to celebrate, “unshowered, unchanged, and unconcerned about it”. A local pointed us to a modest restaurant on the main drag, the Marina Café.
On that warm summer night, in the almost-empty restaurant, exhausted from our voyage, but so happy, we leisurely enjoyed a wonderful Portuguese meal and a nice bottle of vinho tinto. It was, indeed, a most joy filled landfall meal!
Friday night dinner at the Marina Café became a ritual. One night the owner, Ricardo, and the waitress, Karine, surprised us with the preparation of a special dish, Cataplana de Marisco. This seafood feast is a traditional dish popular in the Algarve. It was another memorable night of celebration, this time with new friends.
The Cataplana was such a wonderful discovery, I feel the need to share.
It is the name of the meal, but also the name of the vessel in which it is prepared: a hinged clam-shaped cooking container something like two small Woks clamped together.
We bought a small, inexpensive one in Lagos which we brought back with us across the Atlantic. It is a “go to” kitchen utensil which we now reserve for special occasions.
They are available in stainless steel, copper, or aluminum. If you can’t make it to Portugal, you can find one online.
It is a versatile cooking method, great for fully vegetarian meals, but also good for combining meat proteins and seafood. Essentially it is like a small pressure cooker to “steam” the ingredients. You can find many recipes online.
As far as the “steaming” material … I like the Portuguese approach! Lots of olive oil … and lots of white wine!
Here is a kind of made-up recipe we have prepared for company. Everyone raves about it. Hope you give it a try.
Bom apetite!
Ingredients:
Olive oil
Whole onion
Green bell pepper
Red bell pepper
White potato
Large carrot
4 Cloves of garlic
Italian tomatoes
Seasoning
Other stuff (use your imagination: could be pickles, or basil leaves, or cilantro, or combination)
Dash of Piri-Piri (or diced Jalapeno pepper) if you like it hot
White wine
Preparation:
Prepare the ingredients in advance. Slice the onion and both bell peppers into thin strips. Peel the potato and slice into thin rounds. Slice carrot and tomato as well into thin rounds. Slice or dice the garlic (or leave whole),
Add a tablespoon of olive oil to the bottom of one shell of the Cataplana. Add a layer of onion, then a layer of red and green peppers. Add a layer of sliced tomatoes, then a layer of potato and carrot. Add the garlic. Season with salt and pepper.
The Cataplana half shell should now be about two-thirds full. Add another layer of onion, bell peppers and tomato. Then throw in extras as desired (like sliced pickles, or a bunch of chopped cilantro). If you wish to spice it up, add a dash of Piri-Piri or chopped Jalapeno peppers.
Add white wine … then a bit more white white, then another splash of olive oil.
One more ingredient that David discovered that works well is mint. On top of the veggies and proteins in the container, after adding the oil and white wine, top with a bunch of mint leaves tied together. The mint will add flavour to the meal, and, after about twenty minutes of steaming, the sweet aroma will permeate the room.
Close and clamp. Simmer on the stove top for about 30 minutes, then open and serve. The Cataplana itself can be brought to the table as a serving dish.
To my surprise, I discovered writing is a lot like crossing an ocean.
When writing my memoir, Ready to Come About, there were many moments of: ‘What the hell was I thinking’. ‘This is way more than I bargained for’. ‘I’m not equipped to do this; was I ever stupid to even think I was’. ‘Will I survive? If I do, I swear, never again!’
Then I stumbled onto Brian Henry’s creative writing courses, the very first of which was Writing Personal Stories. These courses were jam-packed with information that helped equip me with what I needed to get through to the other side.
However, writing a book differs from an ocean crossing in that it is a journey of years, and it is necessarily a solitary endeavor, most of the time. But you can’t do it entirely alone. It’s important to meet people who talk the same language, who consider writing a worthwhile endeavor, who too spend whole afternoons inserting and taking out commas, only to insert them again in the morning. Through these courses I was introduced to a wonderful writing community, the support of which was essential.
So it feels extra-special to be a guest speaker in Brian’s fabulous upcoming online course, “Writing Personal Stories” where, eleven years ago, my memoir-writing journey began. Check out the details here.
Carol Kane Neilson, known as C.K., was born October 1, 1884, in Far Rockaway, Queens County, New York. He was one of the five sons of Louis Neilson and Anne Perry Rodgers Neilson. And he was David’s grandfather.
The Neilsons were well connected, New York City high society types. J.P. Morgan was a close family friend, for whom C.K. worked as a bike courier in his teens. C.K.’s brother, Frederick, hob-knobbed with Charlie Chaplin, Lord Louis Mountbatten, and Douglas Fairbanks.
A career on Wall Street might have been expected for C.K., but, as with many an interesting life story, there were struggles. And there were turns.
C.K. had a severe stutter. This stood as a barrier in elite social circles.
A trip to Texas would further influence his life’s trajectory. While on a mission to buy polo ponies for the movers and shakers of Long Island, he became obsessed with all things western. He discovered he was a cowboy at heart.
In 1905, at age 21, C.K. received an inheritance with which he bought a ranch and apple orchard in Colorado, and left his New York City world behind.
Over time, C.K. got to know the couple who owned the neighbouring ranch. They were friends with a young woman, Elsie Deems, another well-to-do New Yorker who spent part of her youth on the Rockefeller estate. Elsie was a graduate of Bryn Mawr College, the first U.S. college for women. So her family had big expectations for her too.
This couple next door had a feeling C.K. and Elsie would hit it off. So they invited Elsie to Colorado for a visit. Although it was years before online dating, their objective was the same. And their hunch was right.
Elsie and C.K. married in 1917. Their first child, David’s mother, Nancy, was born in 1918 in Paonia, Colorado. And life was good… for a few years at least.
In 1922 a river overflowed, washing out their ranch and wiping out their investment. So, they packed up what little they had left and headed further west to the hot, dry central valley of California.
In 1923 C.K. landed a position with Cal Pack, a huge farming and food packing company associated with Del Monte. There they had their second daughter, David’s aunt, Caroline, in 1928. A year later C.K. was given full management of a 700-acre farm, Langdon Ranch, owned and operated by Cal Pack. And the little family moved into the ranch house on the property.
Years later Elsie would recount how the ranch house had been the meeting place for the county where big ideas were born. One of those big ideas was the development of the Merced County Park System. C.K.’s focus was Lake Yosemite, particularly the installation of a pleasure craft boat dock.
After the dock was built, and race night became a big thing in the area, C.K. figured he needed a boat to join in. So he bought a kit and built an eighteen-foot sloop in, of all places, the second floor of the ranch house. According to family, a wall was knocked out and a rope system rigged to extract and lower the finished boat which, they added, did not go smoothly!
In the early 1980s, just after David and I got married, David took me to California to meet his family. And we made a side trip to Langdon Ranch. There, in the heat, surrounded by dust and dirt, beneath towering Eucalyptus trees stood the old ranch house. This once grand estate with splendid parlours and gracious rooms, was now empty and boarded up, but I could feel its majesty, its history, the beehive it must have been in C.K.’s days.
In 1946, due to C.K.’s failing health, the family left Langdon Ranch and moved to a smaller 28-acre ranch near Atwater, California. And, in 1947, C.K. passed away.
So how does this relate to my memoir, Ready to Come About? Well, in short, if it weren’t for C.K., and that intrepid family gene, I’d have never crossed an ocean in a small sailboat. So, thank you, C.K.!
C.K. Neilson, on Lake Yosemite, California, in the sailing vessel, Killarny.
“Didn’t even know you sail,” I said as evenly as possible.“Oh yeah. I did. My aunt Caroline gave me a small sailboat my grandfather had built. I used to sail it on Lake Yosemite, an irrigation lake about seven miles from our house. My mom would drop me off there on her way to work. I’d sail back and forth all day long and imagine I was crossing an ocean, even though it was only a mile wide. Silly.”
Excerpt from “Ready to Come About” (Dundurn Press)
In my memoir, Ready to Come About(Dundurn Press), I recounted that, while sailing along the north shore of the St. Lawrence Seaway, heading toward the Atlantic Ocean, David and I navigated an unfamiliar channel to a marina in the dead of the night. It was against our better judgement, but we were exhausted and cold. Carrying on had its own risks. So, we chose to put in.
The entrance was dark, but beyond the stone breakwater a twinkling marina nestled among rock cliffs and tall pines unfolded and we were warmly greeted by locals on the lamp-lit docks.
In the morning light, we were awe-struck by the pristine beauty of this little-known harbour, Port de Refuge de Cap a L’Aigle.
Last week, I was contacted (through Vocamus Press) by an author, illustrator, and gardener-extraordinaire, Janice Wiseman. She had just finished reading Ready to Come About, and reached out to connect.
In our email conversation, Janice informed me that, within mere kilometers of Cap a L’Aigle, is another Canadian best-kept secret; Les Jardins de Quatre-Vents, the mostly private gardens of Francis H. Cabot, yes a direct descendant of that Cabot. Who knew!
Developed and enlarged by Francis H. Cabot, the Gardens of Quatre Vents are considered among the best private gardens of our times. They are a source of exquisite enchantment for those fortunate enough to visit them. Wandering through the sets of gardens, visitors can discover over 1000 different species of plants that are revealed in original, unexpected and audacious ways.
So here we are with the pandemic. We have been in this for a long time. We are tired, and want things to go back to normal. But, on this last day of 2020, the news we are hearing is that it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
After having a problem-filled first crossing of the Atlantic Ocean, David and I became friends with a young Polish sailor, Nick, on the European side. He acted as our “weather router” on our second, longer crossing home.
When heavy weather was forecast, Nick’s email advice was:
“Grab the opportunity to fuel up, charge your batteries, eat up, sleep up; make sure all your way points are in the GPS and all your charts are on the table. For there’ll be some spray flying high.”
Eventually, through the dark storm clouds, a sliver of light emerged.
Wishing you and your loved ones a safe passage through the storm, and sunny days ahead in 2021!
After a short day-sail from Porto Santo we arrived on the island of Madeira. We called to book a slip in the historic port of Funchal, but, to our dismay, it was full. It had been for weeks, and would continue to be for weeks more.
Grudgingly, we put into Quinta Do Lorde, a new marina on the eastern tip of the island, built to handle the overflow.
This marina, nestled at the base of a mountain, was still under construction. So, its colourful facade was just that — a facade. Aside from washrooms, a few washers and dryers, and a café, there was nothing there.
While I sat in Inia’s cockpit whining, a dock neighbour strolled by and asked if we were planning to take in the festivities too. Realizing we didn’t know what he was talking about, he explained there was an annual event in Funchal to celebrate when their Christmas lights were turned on for the season, and that night happened to be the night. The instant he left, we packed our backpacks, locked up Inia, climbed the steep path, and caught the next bus to the city.
From the bus terminal, we hailed a cab and asked the driver if he could recommend an affordable, central place to stay. He assured us he knew the perfect place. After making a hair-raising U-Turn, he zigzagged through traffic to the downtown core, then turned onto a grimy side street. As he slowed down, I looked out at clusters of vagrants gathered in the doorways, worried he got us wrong. When he pulled up in front of a dilapidated hotel, the sign of which was missing half its letters, I was almost certain of it.
But it soon became evident he did understand. The hotel had been converted to a hostel. So, despite being blocks from the city centre, its rates fit a vagabond’s budget. We agreed we’d be fine for a night.
After registering at the front desk, David and I stepped into the antique elevator, pressed the ninth-floor button, watched both a metal gate and a solid door close, felt a lurch, heard a screech; then lifted off.
Our room was meagerly furnished with a three-drawer dresser, and two single iron beds made with white threadbare sheets, thin blue blankets, and lifeless pillows. Our large plate glass window looked out over a maze of brown and red clay rooftops. From it, we had a birds’ eye view of the street and its aimless occupants below.
I put our toiletry case on the shelf above the sink in the closet-sized bathroom and we took turns freshening up before heading out for the evening.
As we made our way down the hostel’s street, both of us looked straight ahead and walked with purpose, slowing down only after we rounded the corner and into the safety of the main drag.
Since it was still light out, we stopped at a local diner and, under its striped canvas awning, enjoyed a leisurely dinner of Espetada and wine while waiting for the sun to go down.
As darkness fell, Funchal lit up. Christmas lights dripped from every tree, lined every pathway, trimmed every building, and cascaded across every street. Some were of religious figures, while others were playful depictions of candy canes, teddy bears, bells and bows.
And, high above the ancient church steeple in the town square, a full moon and white and blue angels adorned the night sky.
Having grown up in northern Ontario, I used to believe Christmas couldn’t feel Christmassy without snow. But, witnessing the throngs of people; families, lovers young and old, Birkenstock-wearing boomers; body pierced skateboarders, tourists and locals alike; gather in a spirit of peace and goodwill, I had to admit I was wrong. The serene radiance of this Yuletide scene will stay with me forever.
On our return trek to the hostel, we passed the same men huddled by the building’s entrance. This time, though, I slowed down just a tad, made eye contact, and flashed a fleeting smile. Then in we went.
